I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
