Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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