did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
