hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
