I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
