You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
