A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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