So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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