I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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