she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
