ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the condom got lost in my hair
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
