1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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