No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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