I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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