if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Found the puke drawer
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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