Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
