I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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