ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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