Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
