Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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