I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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