Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
