3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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