You work out of a Hotel?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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