She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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