were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
