MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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