So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize