Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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