It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
