I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
