Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
