No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
