Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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