So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
