I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
