he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
