it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
