I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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