According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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