I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
