Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't notice because vodka
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
