can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize