i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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