Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
handjob tips. give me some.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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