quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
