I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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