But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
