this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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