holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize