Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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