I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
