Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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