yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
