i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize