I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
do herpes really smell.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
