I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
