worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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