I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
