what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
