I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
