I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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