In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
