You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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