Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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